Help! I’m Struggling to Forgive

Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32

Three Truths About Forgiveness:

In order for relationships to work, we must let the One who designed them define them.
My relationship with God is inseparable to my relationship with the people God has put in my life.
“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.”

Forgiveness is Not:

It’s not minimizing the seriousness of the offense.
It’s not reconciliation.
It’s not forgetting what happened.

1. Pray for them.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
(Matthew 5:43-44 NIV)

2. Bless them.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
(Romans 12:14 NIV)

3. Forgive others as Jesus has forgiven you

Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32

21 Days of Prayer - Make plans to be part of "21 Days of Prayer" beginning Sunday, August 1st. Daily Prayer services Monday-Friday 6:00-7:00am & Saturdays 9:00-10:00am (There will be a special prayer experience for kids as well on Saturday mornings.). For more information visit www.cityhills.com/21days

Watch It

1. Watch Your Mouth

“Therefore, rejecting all falsehood [whether lying, defrauding, telling half-truths, spreading rumors, any such as these], speak truth each one with his neighbor, for we are all parts of one another [and we are all parts of the body of Christ].
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:25-28‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Speak Life

2. Watch Your Anger

Be angry [at sin—at immorality, at injustice, at ungodly behavior], yet do not sin; do not let your anger [cause you shame, nor allow it to] last until the sun goes down. And do not give the devil an opportunity [to lead you into sin by holding a grudge, or nurturing anger, or harboring resentment, or cultivating bitterness].
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:25-28‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Forgive

Watch Your Work

The thief [who has become a believer] must no longer steal, but instead he must work hard [making an honest living], producing that which is good with his own hands, so that he will have something to share with those in need.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:25-28‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Be Honest & Generous

Challenge: What harmful behavior do I need the Holy Spirit to help me with today?

5 Ways To Fill Up The Love Tank

Over the next few days I want to share 8 reasons why we run out of gas and what we can do to keep our relationships healthy and moving forward:

2. Being Too Busy to Pause and Refuel

I have never woke up in the morning thinking, “I sure hope I can get gas today!” It is not something that I look forward to. It costs money and also it costs me time to stop. It seems that I always need gas when I am busy and on my way to somewhere important!

It is never convenient or exciting for me to fill up the tank.

Sometimes it is raining or cold. Other times you get the dreaded slow gas pump! I hate the slow gas pump!

It’s the same in relationships!

Maybe you are out of love and wonder if you married the wrong person! You think to yourself, “They know I love them! I did something really nice for them a few months ago. They know I have been busy lately! The reason I am so busy is because I am providing for them. It is all for them. I don’t know why our relationship is out of gas.”

It would be the same as being confused at why your car was sitting on the side of the road empty after you haven’t put gas in it for a month. You think to yourself, “My car should understand. I have been really busy lately. I must have the wrong car!”

Take time today to fill up the tank! Don’t wait on someone else to fill it up for you. Stop the blame game and get a gas can!

Here are 5 ways to pause fill up the tank today:

1. Love with words

☐ Send a kind text message.
☐ Write a letter.
☐ Make a phone call.
☐ Have a conversation without your cell phone in your hand.

2. Love with acts of service

☐ Do something kind that your spouse has been asking you to do.
☐ Stop what you are doing and serve them in a practical way.
☐ Let them know that they are most important to you by the way you serve them.

3. Love with time

☐ Spend some uninterrupted time together.
☐ Go for a walk.
☐ Eat a meal together.
☐ Take a trip together alone.
☐ Plan something creative and fun to do together.

4. Love with touch

☐ Hold hands.
☐ Give a spontaneous back rub.
☐ Regularly be intimate with your spouse.

5. Love with gifts

☐ Buy a flower and a card.
☐ Give a handmade gift.
☐ Bring home their favorite drink or dessert.
☐ Give them a small gift each week.

There is hope for your marriage if it is running out of gas! Take time today to fill up the tank and watch what the Lord will do to strengthen your relationship!

(Ephesians 5:25) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

“Road Trip” – Fill Up The Tank

Over the next few days I want to share 8 reasons why we run out of gas and what we can do to keep our relationships healthy and moving forward:

1. Not Starting Out With A Full Tank

Before I take a road trip I always stop by a gas station. I do not like getting gas but when leaving town I know I am doing to need it for the journey.

Relationships are a journey.

Each day is a journey.

What is the first thing you do everyday? I got in a bad habit of picking up my phone and scrolling through social media. I realized that I was starting my day off on empty instead of being filled with hope from the Lord each morning.

A few weeks ago we started our Spring semester of Small Groups at City Hills. My wife and I are leading a Freedom Small Group. Each morning I have been walking through a page of the Freedom book and looking up every scripture that it mentions and engaging with God through His word. It is changing my day! I am leaving the house each morning filled instead of empty!

Each day is a new start in our relationships. Even if your marriage started off on the wrong foot, you can begin again today. Even if you have been making mistakes as a single adult take the opportunity to begin again. Just like God has new mercies for us individually each morning, there are new mercies for our relationships each morning if we will receive them.

“Lord, I give this day to you. I have never been this way before. I surrender all of my expectations of what this day will hold and trust that you are holding it all. I give you the relationships in my life and ask for your help. I surrender everyone and everything to you. Help me to love the people in my life like you love me. You are my God and I choose today to worship you.”

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:33)

Questions:
– What is the first thing you do each day? Does it leave you empty or filled?
– What relationship in your life needs a fresh start?
– Are you taking advantage of the fresh start that God has given you today?

Fill Up The Tank

Have you ever ran out of gas? It’s so embarrassing and humbling. The first time I ran out of gas was driving to church a couple years ago! It was cold, raining, and there was no gas station in sight. I had neglected to put gas in the tank for days thinking that I was too busy and that I would get it later.

Cars run out of gas.

There is not such a thing as a car that does not require fuel. (Even if the fuel is electricity 🙂

You can have your dream car, but it will still require fuel.

There is a misconception in the world today that if you marry your “Soulmate” then your relationship will not require any work. There is not such thing as a relationship that does not require fuel to stay healthy.

That day when I ran out of gas I did not get rid of my car sitting empty on the side of the road. I went a bought a gas can! Don’t be so quick to get rid of the relationships that God has brought into your life just because they run out of gas from time to time. Get a gas can and get to work!

Your relationship can come alive again! God is not through with you. However, you have to make a conscious decision to put fuel into it. Stop blaming the other person and get to work yourself. There is hope!

God’s Word says:

“All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” (Proverbs 14:23)

Let’s commit to do more than just talk about it. Do some practical things today to fill up the tank of others in our relationships. It could be a simple text message of encouragement, a phone call asking for forgiveness, or scheduling an upcoming date night with your spouse. There is hope when you run out of gas! Don’t give up. It’s just time to fill up the tank!

Over the next few days I want to share 8 reasons why we run out of gas and what we can do to keep our relationships healthy and moving forward:

Questions for Reflection:
What relationship in your life is running on empty?
What is one practical thing you can do today to “Fill up the Tank?”

The Fastest Way To Change A Bad Relationship

You have an enemy and it is not your spouse. You have an enemy and it is not your boss. You have an enemy and it is not your ex. You have an enemy and it is not your kids.

Ephesians 6:12

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

When we get “In the Dip” of a relationship, Satan wants us to focus on fighting each other instead of fighting him.

Paul shows us in Philippians 1:4 the quickest way to turn a relationship around…

Check it out…

Watch the full message “Don’t Quit in the Dip” at www.cityhills.com